Personal Childhood Web

There are many people that have guided me through my life and made an impact. Childhood teachers, friends, even the stranger in the supermarket that does a kind thing for someone. It is hard to determine who has had the biggest impact on my life.  Like most of us, our mother and father, our friends are usually the ones who influence us the most, and although I had many good teachers and friends, no one stands out.  If I am going to be honest I dont know who influenced me. I grew up in a divorced home, I spent Mon to Fri with my mom and most Sat and Sun at my dads. I always felt so torn between two families. My mother remarried when I was 6 and then there were 3 families I had to chose from. I never felt like I was part of any of them. Do not get me wrong I know my family loved me, but they placed a burden on me that I do not think they even know they did. I was always forced to chose where to spend holidays, who do I go to the fireworks with? These may seem like small issues, but I always felt guilty about leaving one parent behind. All my cousins had close relationships with each other, they were always together, I wasn's always there, so I never felt like I belonged to any family. Maybe this influenced me. My mother taught me one thing that will stick with me forever, and I have taught me children. Never rely on anyone to do it for you, do it yourself.
I think that this has driven me in my life to want more and succeed.

My sister and I were the "black sheep of the family" our mother was divorced and that was not acceptable. I guess my sister had a great  influences on me as child. She taught me how to be a mother. I was the one caring for her at 9 years old while my mother worked(that was normal in the 70's, we were considered latch keys kids). She taught me patience and tolerance, (we still fought like sisters). When I left my house at 16, my sister felt as if I abandoend her. She could not come with me she was only 13. I dont think to this day she forgives me, our relationship is very strained.

Although my father was what I call a part time father. He did not come to any of my softball games, did not come to see my clarinet recitals. For some reason he was still my hero. I guess I had the knight in shinning aromor syndorme. I wanted so badly to have a normal family that to this day I place my father high on totem pole and would do anything for him. In my eyes he did nothing wrong, ever, my mother would disagree of course. The more I think about it although my father was not there everyday, his influence on me was greater than I ever realized. He called and talked to me every night. He always wanted to know how my day was , what did I eat for dinner. Those simple questions that my mother never asked. He did make me feel important through a 5 minute phone call. To this day he calls and asks those same questions, he has been the consistent one in my life.

Although my husband and children were not part of my childhood, I did meet my husband in my teens and had my daughter at 19. They are the biggest influences in my life. Without my husband support and belief in me I would have never finished college, opened my schools. He to this day makes me feel like I can do anything. When I get upset and life seems to be to overwhelming with my schedule, he reminds me of everyhting I have accomplised and that only I can fail or succed. He keeps my spirits up and positive. My children have driven me to suceed and always want more. If they ever have to do a perosnal childhood web I hope that they say that I have influenced them to suceed, be good to everyone, help you neighbor and never give up. That will be my legacy.

So although I do not have any life changing stories, or great influences, this is my story and all of it is what has made me who I am.

Robert Frost has always been my favorite poet, here is a poem that I often think of when life is tough.

"The Road Not Taken"

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood.
And sorry I could not travel both
And be on traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
to where it bent in the undergrowth:

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Robert Frost,  Mountain Interval, 1920